Rumored jokes at the Guardsmen Lunch

I finally got a list of jokes from G2. See if these make any sense:

Is that (SF Chron reporter) Glen Dickey’s real beard, or he’s just being Amish?

On Pappy Waldorf winning 3 big games in a row - that hasn’t happened to Cal since Pappy invented his famous salad.

On (Cal’s player) Bishop against the Cardinal, haven’t seen that since Vatican II.

Marvin Philip (Cal) telling interviewer Joe Starkey that it’s been good to go to a bowl game the last 2 years, looks forward to going again. [he looks over a stanfurd side of the head table] Wishes Stanfurd Good Luck in their remaining games to increase their chances of going to a bowl game ... cuz he knows that they haven’t been to a bowl game ... (pause) ... in awhile.

On the USC team players having played for so long together, that some of them have already been nominated for the Pro Bowl.

On UC Davis having beat Stanfurd, that Standurd played so badly that day that they could have been beaten that day by (radical professor) Angela Davis.